I don’t know why, but I’ve been swimming laps in the pool of grief these past few weeks.
As far as I can tell, there was no clear event which precipitated this, just a gradual thinning of my power to hold things together, until it seemed like the slightest brush brought unbidden tears.
What was that? I find myself wondering.
Who stole all the air?
I text my tribe, I’m drowning here, and discover that it’s possible that our bodies store trauma.
Hear that sometimes, the scales fill and fill and fill until at last, they tip. Uninvited, it comes pouring out, too much to hold in trembling cupped hands. What to do with all the spill?
I can’t seem to climb it away, sleep it away, pray it away.
How must we steward our healing? I only know one way.
We go to the One.
He holds the universe and our one tiny life together, carries them along, inches them forward.
I must believe that He can catch the spill in His own cupped hands. Coax the dead places inside of us back to life.
Keep our one tiny life, until it’s time.
Slowly, I feel this season of sad shifting.
I can hold on, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in my heart. (2 Peter 1:19)
6 thoughts on “Our One Tiny Life”
You remind me again and again who I can turn to. I so look forward to your posts. They are beautiful. Thank you.
Beautiful. Thank you. Praying you see more light. Yes, our body stores pain, The Body Keep Score. Sending love.♥️
Cheryl, my heart continues to break for you. Remember that the psalmist writes that God collects all our tears in a bottle. That is how important our sorrows are to him. I also love the verse in Isaiah 63 that says “in all their distress he was distressed”.
Hold fast sister…. In this world we will have trouble but Jesus reminds us he has overcome the world.
Thank you as always for sharing your heart.
Thank you, Brenda! I often go to Isaiah for comfort…and He has indeed overcome the world, so why should I fear?
Oh dear Cheryl. It has been such a busy, overwhelming few weeks for me that I only now have searched for and read your blog. Usually, it is the first thing I open and read, and it is always such a blessing to me – between the emotive photographs and centering in the One IN SPITE OF the circumstances. My prayers are delayed, but I believe prayers are not restricted by time or space. So I am pouring out my prayers now. Grateful that He knows and gathers your every tear and that they are precious in His sight. With love and prayers,Robbin
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Yes, I believe that, too – HE is outside of space and time, so our prayers are, as well. Thank you for yours <3<3